Seeking reimbursement on outstanding bills from your spouse

Seeking reimbursement on outstanding bills from your spouse

By PK Jordan          Divorce Reimbursement

You are recovering from the Christmas season.  The kids are starting sports and they have outgrown their soccer shoes or their basketball shoes.  You say to yourself “I just bought these a few months ago.”  It is easier to share the burden when there are two incomes,  but you don’t want to ask for assistance from the other parent and deal with the hassle that can come with it.

Reimbursements

Fast forward to a failed reimbursement issue(s) with your spouse or soon to be ex-spouse.  This is a common problem in many families.  I have some solutions for preventing this from happening.  Let me provide some explanation on why these issues occur.

  1. The parent makes the decision without consulting the other parent.
  2. A parent who is expecting reimbursement thinks they are entitled to continue their lifestyle as it was during a marriage.
  3. Some parents have not made the distinction that there are no longer two combined incomes.
  4. The parent fails to explain before the expense was incurred.
  5. The parent fails to put the agreement in writing for the approved expenses between parents.

A solution to Reimbursement:

  1. Before incurring the expense, email the other parent to give them an opportunity to review and assess.
  2. Give the other parent specifics: Ex. Sports.  Time, Location, Frequency, duration of a season, cost.
  3. Let the other parent know how you can share in taking the child(ren) to sports practices, doctor appointments, etc.
  4. Don’t have an expectation that they have to help all the time with transportation.  ASK them to help you.  Don’t assume they will say “no.”
  5. Medical appointments do your best to give the other parent 48 hours or more notice on regular appointments.  Ex. A child is sick. Let the other parent know as soon as possible in an email and maybe call.  Parents should not withhold care when a child is sick.

Why the other parent objects to making payment:

  1. The parent is not communicating with them and there is a heavy expectation of payment without asking first.
  2. Other parent wants to be consulted, included, and not looked at as an ATM.
  3. Other parent wants to be respected.  HUGE one.
  4. Give every opportunity to the other parent to be included in the decision making when it comes to their child.  Do not make any unilateral decisions.  (Ask me about this one.)
  5. Be reasonable on expenses if you are asking for reimbursement.  Provide the other parent with some options.  Ex. Shoe prices. List 2-3 shoe stores.  This lets the parent know that you are being mindful of the expense.

Lack of cooperation on reimbursement:

  1. Courts will most  likely find in favor of the parent who asks and puts everything in writing
  2. Courts will examine the actual need and determine the reimbursement.
  3. Costs you will incur for lack of payment can far exceed what is due to the other parent.
  4. If you are not in agreement with the expense, provide a good reasonable explanation as to why you cannot participate in the expense.  The judge will look at your explanation.

Do the right thing by your child.  It will pay off in the long run.  Besides, you have many opportunities to celebrate your child’s milestones!

Trust yourself.  If you could use some assistance in refining your existing parenting plan or need to make one, please contact our office for a free consultation.

Serving others is an honor. What you think and say matters to your mediator!

We assist families and business owners through Video Conferencing for mediation services.  (Courtesy of East Valley Mediator 480-788-4187) Call today for a Free Consult.Courtesy of East Valley Mediator 480-788-4187)

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Divorce Support Groups

Divorce Support Groups

By: PK Jordan

During the divorce, you should not have to face it alone.  There are many resources out there concerning divorce support.   Here is a group called Divorce Care.  The group has been around for 25+ years and there are over 16,000 locations that teach on Divorce Care worldwide.  http://www.divorcecare.org/  The curriculum is aimed to help you heal right where you are at.  The group is not looking for perfect people.  What a relief!

Below are the topic descriptions for Divorce Care as follows:

  • What’s happening to me?
  • The Road to healing/finding help
  • Facing my anger
  • Facing my loneliness
  • What does the owner’s manual say?
  • New relationships
  • Financial survival
  • Kid care
  • Single sexuality
  • Forgiveness
  • Reconciliation
  • Moving on, growing closer to God

At Divorce Care you are not expected to share.  You are asked to commit to three weeks minimum.  You deserve to heal and be a better you.  If you have any questions regarding the group, please contact www.DivorceCare.org or call your mediator Pk Jordan at 480-788-4187 for additional information.

Your mediator Pk Jordan has divorced 14 years ago.  I can tell you that support during divorce is essential.  Start today by taking your first step to healing.  http://www.divorcecare.org/

 

We assist families across the United States through Web Mediation. Call today for a Free Consult.

(Courtesy of East Valley Mediator 480-788-4187)

Who qualifies for spousal maintenance/alimony?

Who qualifies for spousal maintenance/alimony?

By: PK Jordan

Divorce is on the horizon.  You have many concerns running through your mind.  You were provided for over the years, but now you’re facing new changes in your life.  Over the years, you have been a stay-at-home Mom or have very little job experience.    Nobody ever plans for divorce.  The reality is how are you going to live on your own and pay your bills???   Mediation can help you explore those options.  Below are some areas that you may qualify for spousal maintenance/alimony:

Is your education obsolete?

  • Have you been out of the workforce for a substantial amount of time?
  • Was your job a stay-at-home mom for a long period of time?
  • Do you have a chronic health condition that limits you for working outside the home?
  • Do you have a special needs child that needs 24-hour care?
  • Medical insurance is too expensive to get on your own due to medical needs?
  • Where you married for a long time?
  • Did you participate in building a business with your spouse?

Keep in mind every state has its own criteria on who qualifies for spousal maintenance/alimony.  The items of qualifications need to be verified with the State’s Law.  The areas of possible qualifications are only provided for informational purposes.  This article is not invented as legal advice or determination.   Each case is unique and needs may vary from family to family.

East Valley Mediator can help you in figuring out your spousal maintenance need.  We would be glad to assist you in this matter. Call today for a Free Consult.

We assist families and business owners through Video Conferencing for mediation services.  (Courtesy of East Valley Mediator 480-788-4187)

Great tips for dealing with pain and stress during divorce

Stress can sure get the best of us. Did you know that stress can refer to our joint,too? I have been practicing some of these methods for years.

Give it a try. Please read the article in the link below. One tip that has helped me, is eating by 6pm daily.

 

Have a great day!

6 Foods that fight pain
http://ow.ly/zZgLh

 

We assist families across the United States through Web Mediation. Call today for a Free Consult.

(Courtesy of East Valley Mediator 480-788-4187)

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Physical stress during divorce and after

Physical stress during divorce and after is serious business. I can’t tell you how many times I hear this subject come up. I personally experienced medical issues after divorce many years ago. It was no picnic. I urge you to read this article and seek some support. Feel free to contact East Valley Mediator for referrals of support. Stand strong today.

http://wp.me/p2NGyk-W

We assist families across the United States through Web Mediation. Call today for a Free Consult.

(Courtesy of East Valley Mediator 480-788-4187)

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Day to Day activities, conversations and

Day to Day activities, conversations and situations…..there seems to be someone who is pushing our buttons. How are we handling this? I heard this talk on just that. There is great wisdom here. Have a listen.

http://rickwarren.org/listen/player?bid=caf80d58-9bd2-4950-89c4-7d3df925f06d

We assist families across the United States through Web Mediation. Call today for a Free Consult.

(Courtesy of East Valley Mediator 480-788-4187)

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Realistic Parenting Style Expectations

Realistic Parenting Style Expectations

By PK Jordan

Both parents should do their best to remain united when it comes to communication with each other and how you will raise your children. Don’t worry about giving notice to the children that you will speak with the other parent. It will reduce the opportunities for the children to circumvent and/or play both parents against each other.

Communication during divorce with limited emotion - 10 ways to effectively communicate with limited emotions

Here are some tips that both parents can live by:

Parenting Style Expectations:

  1. You cannot expect the other parent to parent like you.
  2. If your child has committed a grave wrong-doing at home, school, etc., you can share it with the other parent.
  3. Allow the other parent to decide the punishment at their home during their parenting time.
  4. Don’t make your recommendation on what the punishment should be at the other parents home. Your opinion is not always going to be welcomed. Only offer your opinion when asked.
  5. You can share with the other parent on how you will implement a punishment at your home. You are welcomed to ask for their thoughts.
  6. Don’t take it personally if they have a difference of opinion.       If you don’t want the truth, don’t ask for it.
  7. When you speak to the other parent, do not tell them “how”they need to think on a matter.
  8. When sharing something about the kids, don’t leave anything out or it can affect your credibility with the other parent and child.
  9. Don’t assume the other parent knows what you are thinking.       You may get the other parents support on your way of thinking.

It is a lot more fruitful when our parents work together. All parents have the ability to be reasonable, so long as we don’t demand the other parent to think as we think. Remember communication is all in how we deliver the message.

If you find that you are not able to communicate effectively with the other parent, we are here to guide our families through the process of effective communication. I am a mother of two teenagers and continue to learn techniques that work through my coaches and family counselors. Be a proactive parent today!

We assist families across the United States through Web Mediation. Call today for a Free Consult.

(Courtesy of East Valley Mediator 480-788-4187)

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Request for Visitation Modification

Request for Visitation Modification

By: PK Jordan

Your children are getting older. When you divorced, the children were small and you felt it was best to not shuffle the kids too much. Now the children appear to be adjusting to the new arrangement, so you would like to increase visitation. Is this you?  You are now able to see the children more.

Here are some suggestions on how to prepare for modification:

  •  Prepare a proposed parenting schedule (2 options)
  •  Explain to the other parent why you want to increase the parenting time
  •  Assure the other parent that you are dependable (so that the parent doesn’t have to worry about a disruption in their schedule)

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 Check your motives as to “why” you want to increase parenting visitation:

  •   Increase your parenting time will allow you to build your relationship with your children
  •  You can commit to sharing in the responsibilities of driving the kids to their activities
  •  You can help the children with the homework
  •  Increase in parenting to reduce child support should not be your motivation (the other parent will see that)

We believe in our parents. We encourage the parents to work together to make their agreement so that they can enjoy parenting together and celebrating the children’s milestone peacefully. We want to see our parents work together in the best interest of their children.

Modifying a parenting plan can be hard for any parent. In mediation, we walk along side of our parents to help in this matter. We would be glad to assist you in this matter.

We assist families across the United States through Web Mediation. Call today for a Free Consult.

(Courtesy of East Valley Mediator 480-788-4187)

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