By PK Jordan
There is financial stress, work stress and then there’s the stress at home in managing your family. Sound familiar? You take everything in stride because everything appears normal to you. NOW you are coping with going through a divorce or just finalized your divorce not too long ago.
You are getting sick more often, you’re on edge; you’re sleep deprived or just wondering “why is this happening to me?” Trust me; there are many families that understand what you are experiencing. When it comes to divorce, it is all in “how we manage and react” to this new season in your life.
Managing your stress alone is not a good idea. This is a stress like no other. It has been 8 years since my divorce and it was not easy, but I did have help during it. Here are some suggestions on support partners:
- Your parents. Objective support that will tell you when you are doing wrong.
- Family Counselor can help you go through the storm that comes with divorce.
- If you attend church: Women’s Ministry, Celebrate Recovery, or Pastoral Care.
- Your friends. Support that will build you up and not judge you. That includes not judging the other parent. Judging the other parent only fuels the fire.
- A Life Coach can assist you in making a plan and helping you find balance in your life.
- Financial Planner that can help you with a new financial plan for you and your children for your future.
- Accountant/CPA can help you forecast into your future based on past years experience to anticipate future penalties or taxes to protect you properly.
- Budgeting specialists can help you stay on track concerning your finances and minimize the stress.
- Personal Bankers can help you manage your families banking needs.
- Meet with your insurance agent to evaluate your existing accounts to see if adjustments need to be made. Ex. Deductibles, coverage amounts, etc.
- Manage your blood pressure. Learn what a healthy blood pressure is for you. Ex. Pharmacies have a free blood pressure check machine.
- Keep attending your doctor visits with your primary care physician to manage your care. Ex. Depression, Anxiety, chronic illnesses. Do not ignore your healthcare!
- Do not let your adrenal glands work overtime during stress. This is a danger zone!
- Managing your headaches with regular massage therapy or chiropractic care.
- Eat before 6pm when possible. Eating too late can interfere with your sleep patterns and your stress. Make good choice on your food selections.
- Exercise regularly. Walk for 30 minutes 2-3 times per week, or workout at the gym. This is critical to manage your stress and allow yourself a “time out” just for you.
Managing your symptoms as they relate to stress:
- Frequent headaches and migraines. Chart them down on a calendar.
- Lack of sleep. Chart when you are well rested. Evaluate what you did the night before.
- Stomach aches. What are you eating? How often are you engaged in turmoil? Chart it.
- Unexplained body pain. Pain that feels like: stabbing, sharp, chronic, specific areas, etc. This is a sign that something is not okay. Stress sometimes exaggerates pain in our body. See a doctor.
- Anxiety or Overwhelmed. Feeling like an emotional roller coaster? Your doctor or natural path doctor can help you manage the emotions you are experiencing during this season in your life.
What you are experiencing is real and should not be ignored. When your body is under attack, you need to be in communication with professionals that can help support you during this season.
During my divorce I had a great support system, but I sure lacked in other areas. My health! I was too busy managing everything else in my life, kids, work, and litigation in court to notice my health was suffering. My body paid a huge price. I was warned by four doctors to get my stress level under control. I went from being super active to my body shutting down one February morning with uncontrollable pain. It took two years to be diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I was sick for two years. I was exhausted for the longest time and would take two naps a day. I had an iron deficiency and had multiple iron infusions just so that I can feel better. I had over five procedures to verify loss of blood and two feet surgeries to minimize pain while walking.
Today a lot of my symptoms have improved dramatically. With managed care from medical professionals and returning back to the gym, I feel like a new person. Managing your stress is key!!! You cannot do it alone.
Remember this season is temporary. Your outcome will depend on “how you react” to your circumstance. If you would like to know more about how mediation can help you, we offer a free consultation.
We assist families across the United States through Web Mediation. Call today for a Free Consult.
(Courtesy of East Valley Mediator 480-788-4187)